How to Deal with Perfectionism in Your Life and Business #44

Learn how to deal with perfectionism on this episode of My Biz Bestie. Do you struggle as a perfectionist? Amber is a recovering perfectionist, and although she claims that she has zero f***s to give, occasionally her perfectionist tendencies get the better of her. You can be a perfectionist and learn how to not have everything perfect 100% of the time. On this episode, you will learn helpful tips on how to deal with perfectionism and strategies you can use to improve your work and yourself.

There is a fine line between professional looking work and being perfect

Even if you struggle with perfectionism you can still appreciate something that looks professional and polished and you can learn to accept that it is not perfect. However just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean that it is unprofessional. Your work should still continue to be good. What is important is that the content is excellent but it is ok if the packaging needs a bit of a shine. If you feel overwhelmed, hiring someone to do something to help out is a great way to eliminate the pressure of being overworked. Where do you draw the line between perfectionism and professional?

Timing is everything

We all have times of day when we are at our optimal performance. When is yours? It is important to know when you are not going to be your best and make sure that you don’t schedule important work during this time. It feels awful when you don’t present your best work to the world. One way to ensure that you are working on something during your best time is to prioritize and decide what you need to focus on during different times of the day. How do you deal with scheduling your work? Listen to this episode to hear how knowing your optimal time of day can help you do your best work.

How to deal with perfectionism when you are also a procrastinator

There is a terrible paradox that perfectionists frequently procrastinate. This is due to the fact that they are worried that they won’t do their best work so they keep putting things off and they end up sabotaging themselves. When you don’t give yourself time to truly prepare then you certainly don’t do your best work. There are some things that you can do your best work at the last minute, but there are other things that need plenty of preparation. This is when it is important to prioritize your time and decide what you need to focus on. Sometimes you can’t just power through and get things done. There are some projects that won’t wait until the last minute. Let us know how you deal with your perfectionism in the comments!

Do you let self-talk bring you down?

One area that is the most challenging for the perfectionist is self-talk. If a perfectionist misses a deadline or does less than optimal work then they can beat themselves up. Rather than beating yourself up over something that was less than perfect, think about how you could have done better. Learn how to set yourself up for success the next time. There is no shame in not doing your best work, just try and learn from your mistake and move forward. You can use your inner circle or biz bestie to help give you honest feedback so that you can learn from your mistake.

In this episode...

  • [1:12] There is a fine line between perfectionism and having it look professional

  • [6:04] Know when you are not going to be your best

  • [10:22] Perfectionists are often procrastinators

  • [14:44] Know your optimal times of day

  • [18:44] Are you letting self-talk bring you down?

  • [21:42] Timing matters

  • [25:33] Having a community can help

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

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Building Business Relationships Through Social Media and Networking with Eboni Harris and Eliza Boquin #43

Have you ever wondered if you building business relationships through social media could actually lead somewhere? Eboni Harris and Eliza Boquin were curious if they were the only minority therapists in Houston. After meeting each other through social media they knew they had to meet in person. A short time later they knew that there must be more therapists of color. Their first happy hour event for therapists of color was attended by a surprising number of guests and they knew they were on to something. Both Eboni and Eliza share a passion for spreading mental health awareness in minority communities and have created a podcast, a national directory of therapists, and a networking community. Listen to their story on this episode of My Biz Bestie.

How they built their business relationship through social media and networking

Their biz bestie love story is pretty amazing since they are the first My Biz Bestie interviewees who actually met through social media. Finding other black and brown therapists was a challenge. Both Eliza and Eboni are relationship therapists in Houston with a passion for changing the face of therapy. Although only one of them thrives in the networking environment they both understand the power of networking which is why they have created networking events to connect therapists of color.

How did they work out the logistics of how to partner together?

The besties agree that it helped that they were not friends first before starting their partnership. They were both businesswomen first and foremost and understood that they were filling a valuable niche in their community. Both were very clear in their expectations from the getgo and laid out a contract from the beginning. They attribute their successful partnership in their communication skills and the fact that they are both therapists who understand the importance of clarity. Listen to Eliza and Eboni discuss the importance of communication in their bestie relationship and in their business on this episode of My Biz Bestie.

How do they communicate?

As biz besties that are also biz partners, they have different communication channels for different types of communication. If they are just chatting socially they text. Eboni and Eliza love using Slack, Trello, and Dropbox to communicate business needs. They find the different channels in Slack to be helpful for arranging chat topics. Trello can be fun and pretty, especially for those that are visually inclined. They also schedule a weekly meeting where they go over their goals for the week and discuss the previous week’s happenings. How do you communicate with your biz bestie?

How do they encourage others to find community?

These ladies are passionate about finding community. They know that their relationship helps them balance their strengths and push each other to be their best. They have learned from each other and challenge each other to do better. Their advice to others is to test the waters of a relationship first. Also, if a relationship isn’t there, then create it. Many people are out there sitting on the sidelines afraid to put themselves out there. Sometimes you have to be the one to make the first move. Are you ready to make a move and find your biz bestie? If so, check out the My Biz Bestie Networking Master Class. This class could help you find the biz bestie you’ve been waiting for.

In this episode...

  • [1:34] How did they meet?

  • [6:35] When decide to begin building business relationships through networking

  • [10:15] How do they figure out how to partner together?

  • [12:27] How do they schedule communication?

  • [18:57] No matter how different they are their core values are the same

  • [24:44] They even promote healing in other ways

  • [27:58] What kind of systems to they use to communicate?

  • [32:04] How to find community?

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Eboni Harris and Eliza Boquin

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

 

What are the Group Norms in Your Squad? #42

Have you ever been a part of a group and wondered why you were so disappointed by it? Maybe you were in a paid business group and felt that others discussed their personal lives too much, or not enough. When others don’t live up to expectations this can be a source of disappointment. On this episode of My Biz Bestie, Maelisa and Amber put on their psychologists’ hats to discuss group norms and why they are important to creating the right inner circle. If you have ever been a part of a group you will want to listen to this episode to help you understand how expected norms affect the group experience.

What are the rules of your tribe?

You use group norms every day without even thinking about it. Group norms are an unspoken and unwritten set of social rules that govern the behavior in any given group. They are based on the type of group and differ based on the different social situations that the group is involved in. These unwritten rules guide the tribe, squad, posse, or group and lead to the expectations within. You can feel when someone is out of place when they aren’t meeting the expectations or following the norms. Think of some different groups you are in, how do your expectations of it vary based on the differing group norms?

TWEET THIS: What are the rules of #YourTribe? Listen to this episode of #MyBizBestie to explore the group norms of your #InnerCircle.

What are ways to think about squad rules to get your expectations met?

People often join business groups, paid masterminds, or networking groups based on an understanding of perceived group norms. To have your expectations met you need to have clearly defined rules that you understand. When the rules seem like they aren’t being followed it can lead to conflict and disappointment. Conflict is really an expectation that is not being met. If your expectations aren’t being met this can cause a personal crisis and lead to doubt as to why you are in the group in the first place. Have you ever left a group when you discovered that it didn’t meet your expectations?

How to get the best value out of your group

If you are interested in joining a paid mastermind or networking group then you need to be intentional about what you are doing. When you are not thinking about the social norms of the organization then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. One way to be clear about the norms is to simply ask what the rules are. You will get more value out of the group if you are able to express what your expectations are. Be thoughtful about what you are looking for and what you expect. Clearly defined expectations help to prevent hurt feelings or disappointment later on. Listen to this episode to hear more about how you can get the most value from your tribe.

Evaluate the norms of your squad

If you wonder why you are feeling disconnected from the tribe or if you are disappointed in the group you may want to consider whether the group norms are right for you. Get clear on what exactly they are and evaluate whether they are right for you and your goals. You don’t want to be a part of a tribe where you expect one thing and then it doesn’t happen. You will get more value out of the group if you are able to express what your expectations are. If you are looking to expand your network and open yourself to more opportunities then take a peek at the My Biz Bestie Networking master class. It could be exactly what you need to find your ideal squad.

In this episode...

  • [2:02] What are the rules of your tribe?

  • [4:38] What are ways to think about squad rules to get your expectations met?

  • [6:42] An example of boundaries

  • [9:55] How to get the best value out of your group

  • [19:46] Evaluate the norms of your squad

  • [24:02] Deciding whether to stay or leave the group

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Effectively Communicate Your Needs with Your Biz Besties with Adria DeCorte #41

Maelisa and Amber welcome Adria DeCorte from the Unforgettable podcast to episode 41 of My Biz Bestie. Adria is here to talk about the bigger challenges of the biz bestie relationship. Adria knows all about pivoting and evolving your business. She actually helps business owners pivot and clarify their messaging. Her ability to effectively communicate has not only helped her grow her business but it allowed her to maintain her biz bestie relationship triad even after she decided to leave their joint business. If you are curious as to how she was able to pull that off, listen to Adria describe how important communicating effectively is to preserving friendships.

Take imperfect action rather than perfect inaction

Deciding which way to take your business can lead to paralyzing inaction. Sometimes it seems as though you need to have everything perfectly planned out before you can move forward. But you never know what the outcome will be unless you don’t act at all (then you know you’ll go nowhere). Adria uses her expertise in communication to help business owners bring about a brand evolution. She has brought her love for messaging and effective communication to help other people evolve their own businesses.

The biz bestie triad is more challenging than the dynamic duo

Having a biz bestie triad is a bit more complicated than having just one friend. But the 3 biz besties found a deep connection that has lasted several years. Their friendship evolved from meeting up locally each week to co-work all day at a local coffee shop to transitioning to a long distance friendship. After being besties for years the trio finally decided that it would be a great idea to collaborate on a business. Nurturing their friendship over time helped them to maintain their biz bestie relationship through thick and thin. They all found that they needed to effectively communicate so that they could remain friends first as well as business partners.

Finding the ideal business arrangement means communicating effectively

At first, the triad shared each and every task equally, but Adria didn’t find this to be an ideal arrangement. It took a lot of time and energy to split tasks in this way. After effectively communicating with her bestie business partners they arranged a different way to share the workload. Each partner instead focused on their specialties and created tasks that were based on their own strengths. But still, collaborating with 2 other people is a challenge. There always seems to be one person that feels left out or ganged up on. Listen to this episode to hear how Adria handled the challenge of working with her besties.

A solution-oriented discussion is the best way to begin a conversation

Even after splitting up tasks to highlight everyone’s strengths, Adria still found that the business partnership wasn’t working for her. Telling her biz besties that their arrangement wasn’t working for her was a huge challenge. It wasn’t as if she were in a toxic relationship -- that would have been easier to walk away from. Adria had to find a way to tell her friends she wanted out of the business, yet still remain friends. Rather than just bring up her complaints, she realized that a solution-oriented discussion would be the key to effectively communicate her needs. Listen to this episode to hear how Adria managed to remain friends while extricating herself from her biz bestie business partnership.

In this episode...

  • [2:12] Adria helps business owners evolve their business

  • [6:06] Her biz bestie triad journey

  • [11:35] Collaborating with her besties held her accountable

  • [15:52] How did their business tasks flow?

  • [23:11] Not everything was sunshine and rainbows

  • [26:44] Telling her biz besties that their business wasn’t working for her was a challenge

  • [34:33] The key to keeping the relationship going is to be solution-oriented

Connect with Adria DeCorte

Connect With Maelisa and Amber


Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Cope with Entrepreneur Depression and Mental Health Disorders #40

Entrepreneurship and mental health disorders can go hand-in-hand. The truth is that entrepreneurs have a tendency to believe that everyone else is doing just fine and that they are the only ones struggling. But that’s just not true. Mental health conditions affect so many entrepreneurs, their issues can range from ADHD, to anxiety, to depression. Entrepreneur depression can be exacerbated by the isolation that comes with entrepreneurship. If you or someone you know struggles with mental health issues listen to this episode to learn more about how to cope.

Half of entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health condition

Many entrepreneurs deal with depression and anxiety. These two conditions can be seen as two sides to the same coin. Anxiety impacts how you focus on the future and depression can have you focused too much on the past. Entrepreneur depression can be exacerbated by the seeming isolation of entrepreneurship. But the truth is that there are so many entrepreneurs dealing with depression and a range of other mental health issues. So if you think you are the only one, please know that you are not alone!

TWEET THIS: Half of #entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health conditions, so if you think you are the only one, please know that you are not alone!

Many entrepreneurs overcompensate for their weaknesses

After being told your whole life that you are lazy or that your issues are just in your head, many decide to prove to the world just how hard they can work. While having a strong work ethic is a wonderful trait, many with ADHD become workaholics and/or perfectionists to compensate for their perceived laziness. Maelisa ended up turning her weakness of being disorganized into a strength by learning organizational skills. She then took it a step further and created a business out of it. Have you found that you overcompensate for a weakness?

Acknowledge that you have a weakness then learn how to manage it

So you’re no superhero. This is not news. Having a weakness is okay! Take a page from the addiction handbook and first acknowledge that you have a problem. The next step is to figure out how to deal with it. What is it you really need? Do you need time management? A team to delegate tasks to? Do you need to see a therapist? Ask a friend for a recommendation. Should you be managing your condition with medication? Do whatever it is that you need to do to care for yourself. Listen to this episode to help you think about your conditions and discover the best solution that works for you.

If you give your business everything than you won’t have anything left for the rest of your life

Having clear boundaries between work and home life can be tricky for the entrepreneur that works from home, but it is an important step in creating a healthy work/life balance. It is easy to associate your business’s success or failure with your own worth. It's hard to manage passion and focus while separating yourself from your business’s success or failure. With high achieving personality then you feel like you must do it all. How do you make time for your hobbies, family, and relationships alongside your business? Listen to this episode to get ideas on how to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

In this episode...

  • [2:12] Half of entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health condition

  • [6:20] Many overcompensate for their weaknesses

  • [9:53] Admit that you have a problem and that you must care for it

  • [12:47] You have to have a safe network to share your vulnerability

  • [16:49] Money is our biggest metric to measure success

  • [19:36] If you give your business everything than you won’t have anything left for the rest of your life

  • [26:58] If you are genuinely struggling with mental health issues see a professional

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

Why Having a Team is Actually Important for Self-Care #39

There will always be items on your to-do list, no matter how much you work on your business. You could work all day, every day and still not get everything done. But work-life balance is so important to maintaining your health. One way to help you discover that elusive line that distinguishes the right balance of work and life is to hire a team. When most people think of building a team for their business they think of growing or scaling their business. But having a team is about much more than just building your business, it can provide self-care as well. On this episode of My Biz Bestie, Maelisa and Amber explain why having a team may be just what the doctor ordered.

Having a team is all about self-care

Ask anyone who has hired someone to help them in their business and they will tell you that they wish they had hired someone sooner. When you are trying to do it all you are the one who really suffers. Entrepreneurs tend to get so busy with work, building their business, and trying to keep up with the demands of their everyday life, that they forget to take care of themselves. Put money aside for a moment and think about if hiring someone to do certain tasks for you would improve your mental health. If you are feeling overworked then you will want to listen to this episode to hear how you can use a team to help practice self-care.

TWEET THIS: If you are feeling overworked then you will want to listen to this episode of #MyBizBestie to hear how you can use a team to help practice #SelfCare.

What are other options you can consider besides hiring someone in your business?

There are other ways to care for yourself and your business rather than just hiring someone for your business. You might be better off hiring someone to clean your house or cook meals for your family. Think about what causes you the most stress. How could you relieve that stress? Sometimes its just easier to find someone to help you with your busy life. There are people out there that can help you with every aspect of your life: a meal delivery service, cleaning lady, meal planning service, or even a nanny. Think about how can you take care of yourself so that you don’t hit the wall and completely shut down.

You can’t afford to not help yourself

People often say that they can’t afford help, but the reality is that they can’t afford to not find a way to practice self-care. Once you look at the grand scheme of things self-care is worth every penny. Your health and well being are most important because once you break down, coming back is much more challenging. If you do reach the point of break down you might get physically ill and have to spend money on doctors and treatments as well as deal with the loss of business while you take time off to heal. What's the point of having a successful business if you’re too sick to enjoy it! Listen to this episode of My Biz Bestie to hear how important self-care is to you and your business.

What should your first hire be?

There are so many things that you can actually delegate to others. You could get a graphic designer, a web designer, a bookkeeper, a VA or even a copywriter. Finding the right help is pretty easy and it doesn’t require a payroll or a huge time commitment. You can use resources like Fiverr and Upwork to help you find someone to fill the tasks you need. So think about it, what tasks can you delegate? Do you need help at home more or in your business? Where would you get the most value? Listen to this episode to help you learn how to build your team so that you can invest in your most important resource: yourself!

In this episode...

  • [1:12] There will always be items on your to-do list

  • [3:52] How can you take care of yourself?

  • [8:02] Set boundaries to help you

  • [11:50] You can’t afford to not help yourself

  • [16:33] What should your first hire be?

  • [20:46] We all need time away from work

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

Discover How Biz Besties Stick Together Through Business Growth with Jaclyn Mellone and Jessica Stansberry #38

Jaclyn Mellone and Jessica Stansberry from the All Up in Your Lady Business podcast join Amber and Maelisa on this episode of My Biz Bestie. In case you were wondering, All Up in Your Lady Business is a business podcast. . . not a gynecology podcast. These biz besties discuss their whirlwind biz bestie romance and how their relationship stays strong after 3 years into it. If you think a biz bestie relationship is something that takes time to develop, Jaclyn and Jessica are here to prove you wrong. Listen to this episode as the marketing strategist and the mindset guru describe how their biz bestie relationship helped them with business growth.

These besties had a whirlwind romance

Jaclyn and Jessica became fast friends after what was to be a quick call about becoming an affiliate. Jessica was offering a course and Jaclyn wanted to use her extensive Instagram influence to become an affiliate for the course. Their quick business phone call turned into a 3-hour conversation. For those of you that think that you need loads of time to cultivate the perfect biz bestie friendship, you need to listen to this episode to hear Jaclyn and Jessica describe how they met. Listen to this episode to hear about their whirlwind bestie romance.

TWEET THIS: For those of you that think that you need loads of time to cultivate the perfect #BizBestie friendship, you need to listen to this episode of #MyBizBestie to hear @JaclynMellone and @Jessfluential describe how they met.


When did they decide to do their podcast?

Shortly after Jaclyn and Jessica became such fast friends they rushed into another big decision. Jessica proposed that they begin a podcast together. Jaclyn, being as savvy and entrepreneurial-minded as she is, negotiated the terms of their deal and just weeks after becoming biz besties, the All Up in Your Lady Business Podcast was born. Shortly after deciding to launch the podcast they met in real life for the first time. They had their first photo shoot and the rest is podcasting history. Listen to this episode to hear how Jaclyn and Jessica’s whirlwind romance turned into a successful business venture that has been going 3 years strong.

Similar pacing is important in a biz bestie relationship

Over the past three years that Jessica and Jaclyn have been friends both of their businesses have changed, shifted, and grown. They attribute their support for one another as a big factor in each other’s success and business growth. These biz besties constantly push each other to do more. Their businesses have grown at about the same pace. The biz besties agree that similar pacing is an important factor in maintaining a business relationship through the growth of businesses. Listen to episode 38 to hear how important it is to have a biz bestie through your business growth.

Having a business support system is just as important as having a biz bestie

Jessica and Jaclyn don’t just rely on each other to help them stay focused on their businesses. They also rely on their own inner circles to help them set goals, stay focused, and grow their businesses. They have also learned that having a circle that understands their business is important to their business growth. Within their inner circles, they can speak the same language of their business and discuss goals with people that understand the ins and outs of their business model. Listen to this episode to hear how important it is to have a network of people who understand your business.

In this episode...

  • [5:22] Jaclyn and Jessica tell their love story

  • [12:34] How did their first in-person meeting go?

  • [17:00] They both have been able to grow their business

  • [19:01] How do they communicate?

  • [23:20] Have they had any other biz besties?

  • [28:19] What other benefits have they seen in having a biz bestie?

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Jessica Stansberry and Jaclyn Mellone

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

 

Taking Productivity to a Whole New Level at The GSD Work Retreat #37

The My Biz Bestie GSD work retreat was a fantastic getaway enjoyed by 4 hard-working women. These ladies brought the right mindset and achieved greatness over the 4-day retreat. This retreat was the first time Maelisa and Amber hosted a retreat themselves and they spend this episode reflecting on who worked, what worked, and why it worked. Listen to this episode to hear what the participants thought and to discover if a work retreat is exactly what you need to get stuff done.

Accountability and structure were the keys to GSD

Amber was totally floored at how much the women were able to get done in 4 short days. Hosting this work retreat helped her see the value of having someone taking charge and pushing and challenging the participants to narrow their focus not just for the week but for the day and even for the hour. Amber and Maelisa both saw the value in the structure that they provided on the retreat. They understand how holding the participants accountable really contributed to them getting done so much work. Amber enjoyed helping the women find their focus and help them develop a clear vision of what they wanted to accomplish during the stay. Are you curious about what you could get done during a GSD work retreat? Listen to this episode to hear how Amber and Maelisa helped the group find their focus and hold each member accountable so that they achieved maximum output.

TWEET THIS: Are you ready to tackle your to-do list? Join Amber and Maelisa for a live 3 hour Pomodoro session on Thursday, October 25 from 10-1 PST. Register at MyBizBestie.com/coworking

What is a Pomodoro session?

One of the ways that Amber and Maelisa were able to provide structure to the work sessions was by using the Pomodoro technique. Pomodoro is a style of working in which you are focused for 25 minutes and then take a 5-minute break. You can adjust the timeframe to increase the amount of time. The technique is based on research that our brains need consistent breaks to really work their best. A full day using Pomodoro is 6 hours with an hour break. Using the Pomodoro method not only increases productivity but manages your energy output. When using Pomodoro sessions, at the end of the day you don’t feel so drained and exhausted. It helps to trick your brain to tackle a task that you avoid doing. Listen to this episode to hear how Amber and Maelisa used the Pomodoro method to help the participants at the GSD retreat stay focused and get it all done.

What did the GSD participants think of their weekend of productivity?

The 4 GSD entrepreneurs chime in on how the weekend affected them and their business. Dr. Caryn Banque was finally able to write the copy and get her website live after paying for it for 2 years! Molly Ann, a home designer, appreciated being able to review her work with a unique perspective. Jasmin Jourdenais was able to plan the big picture, she loved the visual techniques used to help stay focused. Theresa Tschannen was able to declutter all the things that were creating background noise and preventing her from working on her business. Listen to these ladies describe in person how productive their GSD work retreat was for them on this episode of My Biz Bestie.

Are you ready to master your to-do list?

Are you curious about how the Pomodoro technique might increase your productivity? Amber and Maelisa invite you to a live 3 hour Pomodoro session. You can sit wherever you are and take 3 hours of your time to tackle your to-do list. Amber and Maelisa will be there to help you with the structure and accountability that will push you to get it all done. Join them on Thursday, October 25 from 10-1 PST. They will help you brainstorm before the session to discuss what it is you would like to accomplish, they’ll hold you accountable, and help you celebrate as you master your to-do list. Join them by registering at MyBizBestie.com/coworking

In this episode...

  • [1:42] Amber’s takeaway’s from the retreat

  • [7:04] What is a Pomodoro session?

  • [13:54] What did Caryn think of the retreat?

  • [19:03] What did Molly Ann take away from the GSD retreat?

  • [22:15] Jasmine Jorurdenais had never dedicated so much time on her business

  • [31:22] Therese Grieco knew she needed a GSD weekend to focus on her business

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with the GSD Retreat Participants

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify