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How to Make Changes to Improve Your Leadership Skills with Michael Diettrich Chastain #59

Are you ready to improve your leadership skills and yourself? Michael Diettrich Chastain joins the biz besties to discuss his new book Changes. Michael is a licensed therapist that focuses on leadership development and the psychology of business at Arc Integrated. His years of work in this field have lead him to write Changes for busy professionals and team leaders that want to create change in their own lives. Listen to this episode of My Biz Bestie to hear more about the book and how it can help you improve your leadership skills and yourself.

Why did Michael write this book?

Michael had blogged for his company’s website for several years and after a while, he began to notice a common theme to his blogging. He noticed that the clients that he worked with usually needed more help in certain areas of their lives before they could improve their leadership skills. Most busy professionals that he works with are looking for clear direction translating insight into their behavior. Unfortunately, insight alone doesn’t create sustainable change. To improve your leadership skills, you must take action for lasting change to come about. He knew that he wanted to help more people create change in their lives and so began the lengthy process of writing this book.

TWEET THIS: Are you ready to improve your #LeadershipSkills and yourself? Listen to this interview with #TheBookChanges author Michael Diettrich Chastain on this episode of #MyBizBestie to hear how.

What is the book, Changes, about?

There are 2 parts to the book. Part one focuses on 7 life domains that are important to improving your leadership skills and yourself. These habits are good predictors of success and failure. They make up the acronym Changes.

  • Cognition - how people think

  • Heart - how people feel

  • Action - what people do

  • Nourishment - the physical component of how people sleep, move, and eat

  • Guts - the courage people have to act

  • Environment- people places and things people surround themselves with

  • Spirit - belief systems which include spiritual and nonspiritual

The second part of the book helps the reader understand who to ask for help if they struggle to do the work on their own. It focuses on helping people find the right kind of professional to help them. Michael used his experience with clients as well as plenty of research to write the book.

How can you use the book to improve your leadership skills?

Michael recommends that you choose a few areas from the book to evaluate in your own life and move forward from there. Each section has work that you can do on your own. For instance, consider the stories that you tell yourself. Write out 3 negative stories that you tell yourself and think of ways that you can reframe those stories. What you tell yourself stays with you. What you may consider failures can be reframed into a different narrative. Listen to this interview with Michael Diettrich Chastain to hear how you can improve your leadership skills and your life.

What should people do when they recognize that they need some support?

As people dive into the book they may recognize that there is a theme with the work that they are doing to improve themselves. They may find that they need a bit more help than the exercises in the book can offer. Think about your communication style and personality then think about the problem you are having. Is the problem stemming from a trauma or is it a lack of skill set or lack of motivation? There is a big difference between having a mentor, a coach, and a therapist. The book outlines the different disciplines so that people understand what they’re getting into. It also recommends ways to choose the right kind of professional to help you improve your leadership skills and your life.

In this episode...

  • [5:42] A bit about Michael’s book

  • [11:46] What are the different pillars of his book?

  • [16:58] Where to begin the process of diving into the work?

  • [22:35] What do people do when they recognize that they need some support?

  • [31:02] Are there any common patterns among leaders?

Resources & People Mentioned

  • BOOK - Changes by Michael Diettrich Chastain

Connect with Michael Diettrich Chastain

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Tell if That Business Coaching Course is Worth It #58

Before you invest in another business coaching course stop and listen to this episode of My Biz Bestie. If you are anything like Maelisa and Amber you have invested a ton of money in masterminds, courses, programs, and anything else you can think of to help your business grow. But how can you tell if you’re getting a good ROI? On this episode the biz besties help you analyze whether or not you should buy that next business course (or join that mastermind, etc) or whether the one you are currently in is actually doing you any good.

Do you have space in your life to dedicate to this investment?

Before you invest any money in a business coaching course or a program you need to analyze your life. Do you have time for it and do you need it? Oftentimes there is value in what you are looking to purchase but if you don’t have the free time or free mind space to invest in it then it won’t be of any value to you. So, do you have space in your life to dedicate to this thing? If you don’t try looking for a middle ground. If you know that you aren’t ready to put yourself all in then there might be a shorter program that you can handle right now. Get clear with yourself on what you can handle. If it's not a hell yes then its a no.

What is the need you are trying to fill?

When you are considering signing up for a business coaching course or a program then think about your needs. How will this investment help you learn what you need right now? If the thing you are looking at fills a need then go for it. Something you may not have considered is whether you really need to learn the new thing or if you should just hire it out instead. Sometimes you don’t need to learn the skill you just need to hire it out. Check in with yourself. Do a time study and identify what you are actually spending your time on. Everyone has time blindness and grossly overestimates or underestimates what they spend time on. Once you look at the data then you are in a better place to make decisions.

What is the ROI that you are looking for?

Before you invest in another business coaching course think about the outcome. How should things look different for you after you complete the course? Don’t be afraid to contact the seller. Ask them specific questions about how you will achieve your goals. Don’t be shy! They are trying to sell you something so they should be happy to answer the questions. This also helps manage your expectations. Understand how to measure your ROI if you are doing your work and the coach is doing their work. Ask the coach what their expectation is, can you complete it?

How do you know if the business coaching course is worth it?

You should already have an idea of the results that you want to see. Make sure to have a way of tracking those results whether it’s weekly, monthly or whatever. Have a specific way to look for your progress. When a goal is ambiguous it can be hard to see the progress even if you aren’t feeling it at the moment. You take a program, not because you are unable to learn without it, but because something is holding you back from doing it on your own. So give credit where credit is due when you do achieve your goals. So, are you achieving the goals you set out to achieve?

In this episode...

  • [3:12] Do you have space in your life to dedicate to this investment?

  • [7:04] What is the need you are trying to fill?

  • [13:55] What is the ROI that you are looking for?

  • [21:51] How do you know if the program is worth it?

  • [24:06] What should you do if the program doesn’t live up to your expectations?

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How Inner Growth Can Lead to Prosperity Inside and Out with Natalie MacNeil #57

Maelisa and Amber welcome self-care guru, Natalie MacNeil to discuss personal reflection, imbalance, and inner growth. Natalie has written 3 best selling books and is the visionary behind one of Forbes Top 100 websites for women. She has a new book called The Rituals coming out in the fall of 2019. You will want to download this one so that you can pause and reflect and then go back and listen again. Watch out because Natalie throws the inspirational knowledge bombs in every direction on this episode of My Biz Bestie.

Personal reflection brings both inner growth and outer growth

Natalie’s business decisions come after a lot of personal reflection. She is always seeking personal improvement on every level. Her deep work has caused her to break through years of conditioning. She insists that business owners do the deep inner work so that they can grow inside and out. Think about what is triggering you right now. What causes you to feel a lack in your life? What causes you to compare yourself to others? Once you resolve these things, doors begin to open and your business can prosper. Doing the inner work allows you to focus more on the outer work in your life.

Strategic imbalance can bring you more joy

Balance means something different for everyone. Marcus Buckingham created the concept of strategic imbalance which allows people to imbalance their lives to bring them more joy. Whatever brings you joy matters. What is the one essential thing you need to focus on in your life right now? Many people get distracted by all the shiny objects. But if you spread yourself too thin no one thing will reach its fullest potential. Think about how you can focus your attention and resources before expanding to other projects and businesses. What should you focus on temporarily? Think about the next 12 weeks. Maintain your focus on one thing that will lead to your next goal. Let Maelisa and Amber know how you will strategically imbalance your life.

Give yourself permission to step away and take a break

When you are experiencing suffering step away for a moment. You can’t do your best work and bring your highest service if you are in a place of suffering. If you keep on barreling through then you will continue to feel stuck. Remember that this feeling is just passing through so let it pass through you and then come back to the present moment. Allow yourself to get back into the creative flow by changing your state. One way to step away is to move your body. When you move your body more your creativity and answers will flow through you. How do you take a break when you are feeling stuck?

What you are seeing is what you are being

It is important to take care of yourself first in the here and now. Find ways to enjoy the process and your journey because there will always be something else ahead. Since everyone is in a constant state of evolution you never know what the future may bring. Find a way to appreciate the uncertainty that is life and that's how you will learn to experience the joy. We need the contrast of the ups and downs to truly appreciate life. The bad enhances the good. What you see outside is a reflection of what is going on inside. What you are seeing is what you are being. How do you see the world right now?

In this episode…

  • [3:12] Her business decisions come after lots of personal reflection

  • [8:13] Strategic imbalance can bring you more joy

  • [18:35] How will do you think your goal will make you feel?

  • [27:56] If you are suffering step away

  • [42:44] Take an inventory of your life right now

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Natalie MacNeil

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

Can You Become a Successful Entrepreneur and Have it All? #52

You may feel driven to become a successful entrepreneur, but what are the costs? On this episode of My Biz Bestie Maelisa and Amber examine the 4 burner theory to see if successful entrepreneurs really can have it all. Everyone wants to be successful, but is it possible to become successful in all the major areas in life? Listen in as Amber and Maelisa unpack this interesting theory about life balance, what it takes to become a successful entrepreneur, and what success really means.

What is the 4 burner theory?

The 4 burner theory states that everyone has 4 main components that make up their lives. The 4 burners are family, friends, health, and work. The theory goes that in order to be successful in one area you must cut off 1 burner from your life, and to be wildly successful you must cut 2 burners from your life. Think about those you know that have achieved success, and then think about the wildly successful people that you are familiar with, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, etc. Do you think they have a work/life balance? Can you become a successful entrepreneur and still be successful in other aspects of your life?

TWEET THIS: The thing that makes us most unhappy in life is having unrealistic expectations and then not living up to them.

Can you become a successful entrepreneur and find balance in your life?

Do you find it hard to juggle it all and find balance in your life? This may be because you are trying to pursue all the things. It is impossible to create a perfect family life while maintaining a healthy lifestyle, an active social life, and excelling as an entrepreneur. You may feel like you can succeed in all the areas, but this is often when people become burnt out and frazzled. If instead, you realize that you can consciously turn off one of the burners temporarily, you will realize that you are in control. Don’t try to pursue success in all areas, it’s unrealistic. The thing that makes us most unhappy in life is having unrealistic expectations and then not living up to them.

Are there ways to cheat this system?

The 4 burners theory is one way for you to get to realize that there are trade-offs in life. But wouldn’t it be great if there were ways to get around this theory, or to cheat it? There are 3 ways that James Clear says you can cheat the 4 burner theory.

  1. Outsource. There are various ways that you can outsource in the different burner areas. If you want to outsource part of the work side, then you can hire people to help you out. In the family area, you can utilize child care. If you would like to outsource some of the health tasks you could hire someone to cook for you or clean your house.

  2. Embrace the constraints. Rather than lamenting the fact that you don’t have more time on your hands, accept that your time is limited. Instead, you can learn how to maximize the time that you do have.

  3. Acknowledge the seasons of life. Think about what season of life you are in. Should you really be focusing so much time on your business right now?

Are there burners that you have off in your life?

Now that you know all about the different burners, analyze your life. Do you have burners that are already turned off or are you trying to do it all? Think about what is important to you right now. What can you turn off (or down a bit) so that you can succeed in other areas? Remember that when you turn one of your burners down for a bit, it doesn’t have to be forever. You are in the driver’s seat of your own life. Leave a comment to let Maelisa and Amber know which areas you are turning down in your life so that you can succeed elsewhere.

In this episode...

  • [2:12] What are the 4 burners?

  • [7:45] What is really important to you?

  • [9:37] Why you should never turn off the health burner

  • [13:56] Are there ways to cheat this system?

  • [20:47] Pursuing success in all the areas is unrealistic

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How Can Learning Your Money Archetypes Improve Your Money Mindset? with Denise Duffield-Thomas

My Biz Bestie biz hero, Denise Duffield-Thomas, joins the besties to talk about money archetypes, personality tests, and her new book Chillpreneur. You have probably heard Maelisa and Amber gush over Denise Duffield-Thomas (or DDT to the biz besties) on previous episodes. She is actually part of the My Biz Bestie origin story! DDT is a money mindset mentor that helps you understand your relationship with money so that you can actually make money. She has written 2 previous books: Lucky Bitch, and Get Rich Lucky Bitch, and most recently she has published Chillpreneur. Listen to this exciting biz hero episode to learn how you can use the money archetypes to better your relationship with money.

What is Chillpreneur about?

Denise Duffield-Thomas’s previous books Lucky Bitch and Get Rich Lucky Bitch were game changers for so many women entrepreneurs. So many people are excited to read her newest book Chillpreneur. Chillpreneur is all about finding your own path to business. Everyone is in a different phase of their life and Chillpreneur will help you find the essence of what works for you in your business. Many people think that to be an entrepreneur you have to work super hard all the time, but the truth is your business should work for your lifestyle. If your definition of a first-class life has changed over time then your business needs to change with that mindset.

TWEET THIS: Listen to this exciting biz hero episode of #MyBizBestie to learn how you can use the money archetypes to better your relationship with money

How do you decide what the next step in your business will be?

So if you do realize that your business is no longer working to help you achieve the kind of life that you want, how do you change it? You need to learn how to Konmari your business. Ask yourself, does it spark joy? Think about what the next stage of your business should look like. What kind of mental and energetic space does your business take up in your life? Being more deliberate with your time and your business will help you decide how to level up. No one is going to graduate you to the next level. You have to do that yourself. You may even have to leave some clients behind if you don’t find that they fit into the new definition of what your business is.

How can knowing more about yourself help you in your business?

Any personality test can help you with your business. The more you know yourself the more you can apply that knowledge to your business. Personality tests can help you understand your strengths and your weaknesses. When you understand your personality traits you can better understand what you value and how to work with people. Do you have a favorite personality test? There is a short list in the resources section if you need some inspiration.

What are the money archetypes?

Knowing your money archetype can help you understand your relationship with money so you can make more of it and become a more successful entrepreneur. Here are the money archetypes explained:

  • Nurturers are over-givers with big hearts. They can have a hard time becoming entrepreneurs because they just want to give, give, give. Nurturers want to create more good in the world

  • Connectors bring people together. They have an eye for collaboration and match-making.

  • Alchemists are idea generators and manifestors. They can change the world.

  • Accumulators are really good with money. They are often quite frugal and balk at the idea of debt.

  • Romantics love ease and flow and beauty. They can be lazy but should embrace passive income.

  • Celebrities also love flow and beauty but they want the spotlight all on themselves. They have the ability to teach self-worth and self-care, but often don’t want to live with the reality of their money situation.

  • Mavericks are risk-takers and rebels. They are bold and can be great entrepreneurs.

You can take the free money archetype quiz to help you understand your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to money.

In this episode...

  • [5:12] What is Chillpreneur about?

  • [10:22] How can knowing more about yourself help you in your business?

  • [15:47] Learning the money archetypes

  • [26:35] Learn more about Denise

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Denise Duffield-Thomas

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Deal with Perfectionism in Your Life and Business #44

Learn how to deal with perfectionism on this episode of My Biz Bestie. Do you struggle as a perfectionist? Amber is a recovering perfectionist, and although she claims that she has zero f***s to give, occasionally her perfectionist tendencies get the better of her. You can be a perfectionist and learn how to not have everything perfect 100% of the time. On this episode, you will learn helpful tips on how to deal with perfectionism and strategies you can use to improve your work and yourself.

There is a fine line between professional looking work and being perfect

Even if you struggle with perfectionism you can still appreciate something that looks professional and polished and you can learn to accept that it is not perfect. However just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean that it is unprofessional. Your work should still continue to be good. What is important is that the content is excellent but it is ok if the packaging needs a bit of a shine. If you feel overwhelmed, hiring someone to do something to help out is a great way to eliminate the pressure of being overworked. Where do you draw the line between perfectionism and professional?

Timing is everything

We all have times of day when we are at our optimal performance. When is yours? It is important to know when you are not going to be your best and make sure that you don’t schedule important work during this time. It feels awful when you don’t present your best work to the world. One way to ensure that you are working on something during your best time is to prioritize and decide what you need to focus on during different times of the day. How do you deal with scheduling your work? Listen to this episode to hear how knowing your optimal time of day can help you do your best work.

How to deal with perfectionism when you are also a procrastinator

There is a terrible paradox that perfectionists frequently procrastinate. This is due to the fact that they are worried that they won’t do their best work so they keep putting things off and they end up sabotaging themselves. When you don’t give yourself time to truly prepare then you certainly don’t do your best work. There are some things that you can do your best work at the last minute, but there are other things that need plenty of preparation. This is when it is important to prioritize your time and decide what you need to focus on. Sometimes you can’t just power through and get things done. There are some projects that won’t wait until the last minute. Let us know how you deal with your perfectionism in the comments!

Do you let self-talk bring you down?

One area that is the most challenging for the perfectionist is self-talk. If a perfectionist misses a deadline or does less than optimal work then they can beat themselves up. Rather than beating yourself up over something that was less than perfect, think about how you could have done better. Learn how to set yourself up for success the next time. There is no shame in not doing your best work, just try and learn from your mistake and move forward. You can use your inner circle or biz bestie to help give you honest feedback so that you can learn from your mistake.

In this episode...

  • [1:12] There is a fine line between perfectionism and having it look professional

  • [6:04] Know when you are not going to be your best

  • [10:22] Perfectionists are often procrastinators

  • [14:44] Know your optimal times of day

  • [18:44] Are you letting self-talk bring you down?

  • [21:42] Timing matters

  • [25:33] Having a community can help

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Cope with Entrepreneur Depression and Mental Health Disorders #40

Entrepreneurship and mental health disorders can go hand-in-hand. The truth is that entrepreneurs have a tendency to believe that everyone else is doing just fine and that they are the only ones struggling. But that’s just not true. Mental health conditions affect so many entrepreneurs, their issues can range from ADHD, to anxiety, to depression. Entrepreneur depression can be exacerbated by the isolation that comes with entrepreneurship. If you or someone you know struggles with mental health issues listen to this episode to learn more about how to cope.

Half of entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health condition

Many entrepreneurs deal with depression and anxiety. These two conditions can be seen as two sides to the same coin. Anxiety impacts how you focus on the future and depression can have you focused too much on the past. Entrepreneur depression can be exacerbated by the seeming isolation of entrepreneurship. But the truth is that there are so many entrepreneurs dealing with depression and a range of other mental health issues. So if you think you are the only one, please know that you are not alone!

TWEET THIS: Half of #entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health conditions, so if you think you are the only one, please know that you are not alone!

Many entrepreneurs overcompensate for their weaknesses

After being told your whole life that you are lazy or that your issues are just in your head, many decide to prove to the world just how hard they can work. While having a strong work ethic is a wonderful trait, many with ADHD become workaholics and/or perfectionists to compensate for their perceived laziness. Maelisa ended up turning her weakness of being disorganized into a strength by learning organizational skills. She then took it a step further and created a business out of it. Have you found that you overcompensate for a weakness?

Acknowledge that you have a weakness then learn how to manage it

So you’re no superhero. This is not news. Having a weakness is okay! Take a page from the addiction handbook and first acknowledge that you have a problem. The next step is to figure out how to deal with it. What is it you really need? Do you need time management? A team to delegate tasks to? Do you need to see a therapist? Ask a friend for a recommendation. Should you be managing your condition with medication? Do whatever it is that you need to do to care for yourself. Listen to this episode to help you think about your conditions and discover the best solution that works for you.

If you give your business everything than you won’t have anything left for the rest of your life

Having clear boundaries between work and home life can be tricky for the entrepreneur that works from home, but it is an important step in creating a healthy work/life balance. It is easy to associate your business’s success or failure with your own worth. It's hard to manage passion and focus while separating yourself from your business’s success or failure. With high achieving personality then you feel like you must do it all. How do you make time for your hobbies, family, and relationships alongside your business? Listen to this episode to get ideas on how to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

In this episode...

  • [2:12] Half of entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health condition

  • [6:20] Many overcompensate for their weaknesses

  • [9:53] Admit that you have a problem and that you must care for it

  • [12:47] You have to have a safe network to share your vulnerability

  • [16:49] Money is our biggest metric to measure success

  • [19:36] If you give your business everything than you won’t have anything left for the rest of your life

  • [26:58] If you are genuinely struggling with mental health issues see a professional

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

Why Having a Team is Actually Important for Self-Care #39

There will always be items on your to-do list, no matter how much you work on your business. You could work all day, every day and still not get everything done. But work-life balance is so important to maintaining your health. One way to help you discover that elusive line that distinguishes the right balance of work and life is to hire a team. When most people think of building a team for their business they think of growing or scaling their business. But having a team is about much more than just building your business, it can provide self-care as well. On this episode of My Biz Bestie, Maelisa and Amber explain why having a team may be just what the doctor ordered.

Having a team is all about self-care

Ask anyone who has hired someone to help them in their business and they will tell you that they wish they had hired someone sooner. When you are trying to do it all you are the one who really suffers. Entrepreneurs tend to get so busy with work, building their business, and trying to keep up with the demands of their everyday life, that they forget to take care of themselves. Put money aside for a moment and think about if hiring someone to do certain tasks for you would improve your mental health. If you are feeling overworked then you will want to listen to this episode to hear how you can use a team to help practice self-care.

TWEET THIS: If you are feeling overworked then you will want to listen to this episode of #MyBizBestie to hear how you can use a team to help practice #SelfCare.

What are other options you can consider besides hiring someone in your business?

There are other ways to care for yourself and your business rather than just hiring someone for your business. You might be better off hiring someone to clean your house or cook meals for your family. Think about what causes you the most stress. How could you relieve that stress? Sometimes its just easier to find someone to help you with your busy life. There are people out there that can help you with every aspect of your life: a meal delivery service, cleaning lady, meal planning service, or even a nanny. Think about how can you take care of yourself so that you don’t hit the wall and completely shut down.

You can’t afford to not help yourself

People often say that they can’t afford help, but the reality is that they can’t afford to not find a way to practice self-care. Once you look at the grand scheme of things self-care is worth every penny. Your health and well being are most important because once you break down, coming back is much more challenging. If you do reach the point of break down you might get physically ill and have to spend money on doctors and treatments as well as deal with the loss of business while you take time off to heal. What's the point of having a successful business if you’re too sick to enjoy it! Listen to this episode of My Biz Bestie to hear how important self-care is to you and your business.

What should your first hire be?

There are so many things that you can actually delegate to others. You could get a graphic designer, a web designer, a bookkeeper, a VA or even a copywriter. Finding the right help is pretty easy and it doesn’t require a payroll or a huge time commitment. You can use resources like Fiverr and Upwork to help you find someone to fill the tasks you need. So think about it, what tasks can you delegate? Do you need help at home more or in your business? Where would you get the most value? Listen to this episode to help you learn how to build your team so that you can invest in your most important resource: yourself!

In this episode...

  • [1:12] There will always be items on your to-do list

  • [3:52] How can you take care of yourself?

  • [8:02] Set boundaries to help you

  • [11:50] You can’t afford to not help yourself

  • [16:33] What should your first hire be?

  • [20:46] We all need time away from work

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify