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Can You Become a Successful Entrepreneur and Have it All? #52

You may feel driven to become a successful entrepreneur, but what are the costs? On this episode of My Biz Bestie Maelisa and Amber examine the 4 burner theory to see if successful entrepreneurs really can have it all. Everyone wants to be successful, but is it possible to become successful in all the major areas in life? Listen in as Amber and Maelisa unpack this interesting theory about life balance, what it takes to become a successful entrepreneur, and what success really means.

What is the 4 burner theory?

The 4 burner theory states that everyone has 4 main components that make up their lives. The 4 burners are family, friends, health, and work. The theory goes that in order to be successful in one area you must cut off 1 burner from your life, and to be wildly successful you must cut 2 burners from your life. Think about those you know that have achieved success, and then think about the wildly successful people that you are familiar with, Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, etc. Do you think they have a work/life balance? Can you become a successful entrepreneur and still be successful in other aspects of your life?

TWEET THIS: The thing that makes us most unhappy in life is having unrealistic expectations and then not living up to them.

Can you become a successful entrepreneur and find balance in your life?

Do you find it hard to juggle it all and find balance in your life? This may be because you are trying to pursue all the things. It is impossible to create a perfect family life while maintaining a healthy lifestyle, an active social life, and excelling as an entrepreneur. You may feel like you can succeed in all the areas, but this is often when people become burnt out and frazzled. If instead, you realize that you can consciously turn off one of the burners temporarily, you will realize that you are in control. Don’t try to pursue success in all areas, it’s unrealistic. The thing that makes us most unhappy in life is having unrealistic expectations and then not living up to them.

Are there ways to cheat this system?

The 4 burners theory is one way for you to get to realize that there are trade-offs in life. But wouldn’t it be great if there were ways to get around this theory, or to cheat it? There are 3 ways that James Clear says you can cheat the 4 burner theory.

  1. Outsource. There are various ways that you can outsource in the different burner areas. If you want to outsource part of the work side, then you can hire people to help you out. In the family area, you can utilize child care. If you would like to outsource some of the health tasks you could hire someone to cook for you or clean your house.

  2. Embrace the constraints. Rather than lamenting the fact that you don’t have more time on your hands, accept that your time is limited. Instead, you can learn how to maximize the time that you do have.

  3. Acknowledge the seasons of life. Think about what season of life you are in. Should you really be focusing so much time on your business right now?

Are there burners that you have off in your life?

Now that you know all about the different burners, analyze your life. Do you have burners that are already turned off or are you trying to do it all? Think about what is important to you right now. What can you turn off (or down a bit) so that you can succeed in other areas? Remember that when you turn one of your burners down for a bit, it doesn’t have to be forever. You are in the driver’s seat of your own life. Leave a comment to let Maelisa and Amber know which areas you are turning down in your life so that you can succeed elsewhere.

In this episode...

  • [2:12] What are the 4 burners?

  • [7:45] What is really important to you?

  • [9:37] Why you should never turn off the health burner

  • [13:56] Are there ways to cheat this system?

  • [20:47] Pursuing success in all the areas is unrealistic

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How Can Learning Your Money Archetypes Improve Your Money Mindset? with Denise Duffield-Thomas

My Biz Bestie biz hero, Denise Duffield-Thomas, joins the besties to talk about money archetypes, personality tests, and her new book Chillpreneur. You have probably heard Maelisa and Amber gush over Denise Duffield-Thomas (or DDT to the biz besties) on previous episodes. She is actually part of the My Biz Bestie origin story! DDT is a money mindset mentor that helps you understand your relationship with money so that you can actually make money. She has written 2 previous books: Lucky Bitch, and Get Rich Lucky Bitch, and most recently she has published Chillpreneur. Listen to this exciting biz hero episode to learn how you can use the money archetypes to better your relationship with money.

What is Chillpreneur about?

Denise Duffield-Thomas’s previous books Lucky Bitch and Get Rich Lucky Bitch were game changers for so many women entrepreneurs. So many people are excited to read her newest book Chillpreneur. Chillpreneur is all about finding your own path to business. Everyone is in a different phase of their life and Chillpreneur will help you find the essence of what works for you in your business. Many people think that to be an entrepreneur you have to work super hard all the time, but the truth is your business should work for your lifestyle. If your definition of a first-class life has changed over time then your business needs to change with that mindset.

TWEET THIS: Listen to this exciting biz hero episode of #MyBizBestie to learn how you can use the money archetypes to better your relationship with money

How do you decide what the next step in your business will be?

So if you do realize that your business is no longer working to help you achieve the kind of life that you want, how do you change it? You need to learn how to Konmari your business. Ask yourself, does it spark joy? Think about what the next stage of your business should look like. What kind of mental and energetic space does your business take up in your life? Being more deliberate with your time and your business will help you decide how to level up. No one is going to graduate you to the next level. You have to do that yourself. You may even have to leave some clients behind if you don’t find that they fit into the new definition of what your business is.

How can knowing more about yourself help you in your business?

Any personality test can help you with your business. The more you know yourself the more you can apply that knowledge to your business. Personality tests can help you understand your strengths and your weaknesses. When you understand your personality traits you can better understand what you value and how to work with people. Do you have a favorite personality test? There is a short list in the resources section if you need some inspiration.

What are the money archetypes?

Knowing your money archetype can help you understand your relationship with money so you can make more of it and become a more successful entrepreneur. Here are the money archetypes explained:

  • Nurturers are over-givers with big hearts. They can have a hard time becoming entrepreneurs because they just want to give, give, give. Nurturers want to create more good in the world

  • Connectors bring people together. They have an eye for collaboration and match-making.

  • Alchemists are idea generators and manifestors. They can change the world.

  • Accumulators are really good with money. They are often quite frugal and balk at the idea of debt.

  • Romantics love ease and flow and beauty. They can be lazy but should embrace passive income.

  • Celebrities also love flow and beauty but they want the spotlight all on themselves. They have the ability to teach self-worth and self-care, but often don’t want to live with the reality of their money situation.

  • Mavericks are risk-takers and rebels. They are bold and can be great entrepreneurs.

You can take the free money archetype quiz to help you understand your strengths and weaknesses when it comes to money.

In this episode...

  • [5:12] What is Chillpreneur about?

  • [10:22] How can knowing more about yourself help you in your business?

  • [15:47] Learning the money archetypes

  • [26:35] Learn more about Denise

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect with Denise Duffield-Thomas

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Deal with Perfectionism in Your Life and Business #44

Learn how to deal with perfectionism on this episode of My Biz Bestie. Do you struggle as a perfectionist? Amber is a recovering perfectionist, and although she claims that she has zero f***s to give, occasionally her perfectionist tendencies get the better of her. You can be a perfectionist and learn how to not have everything perfect 100% of the time. On this episode, you will learn helpful tips on how to deal with perfectionism and strategies you can use to improve your work and yourself.

There is a fine line between professional looking work and being perfect

Even if you struggle with perfectionism you can still appreciate something that looks professional and polished and you can learn to accept that it is not perfect. However just because something isn’t perfect doesn’t mean that it is unprofessional. Your work should still continue to be good. What is important is that the content is excellent but it is ok if the packaging needs a bit of a shine. If you feel overwhelmed, hiring someone to do something to help out is a great way to eliminate the pressure of being overworked. Where do you draw the line between perfectionism and professional?

Timing is everything

We all have times of day when we are at our optimal performance. When is yours? It is important to know when you are not going to be your best and make sure that you don’t schedule important work during this time. It feels awful when you don’t present your best work to the world. One way to ensure that you are working on something during your best time is to prioritize and decide what you need to focus on during different times of the day. How do you deal with scheduling your work? Listen to this episode to hear how knowing your optimal time of day can help you do your best work.

How to deal with perfectionism when you are also a procrastinator

There is a terrible paradox that perfectionists frequently procrastinate. This is due to the fact that they are worried that they won’t do their best work so they keep putting things off and they end up sabotaging themselves. When you don’t give yourself time to truly prepare then you certainly don’t do your best work. There are some things that you can do your best work at the last minute, but there are other things that need plenty of preparation. This is when it is important to prioritize your time and decide what you need to focus on. Sometimes you can’t just power through and get things done. There are some projects that won’t wait until the last minute. Let us know how you deal with your perfectionism in the comments!

Do you let self-talk bring you down?

One area that is the most challenging for the perfectionist is self-talk. If a perfectionist misses a deadline or does less than optimal work then they can beat themselves up. Rather than beating yourself up over something that was less than perfect, think about how you could have done better. Learn how to set yourself up for success the next time. There is no shame in not doing your best work, just try and learn from your mistake and move forward. You can use your inner circle or biz bestie to help give you honest feedback so that you can learn from your mistake.

In this episode...

  • [1:12] There is a fine line between perfectionism and having it look professional

  • [6:04] Know when you are not going to be your best

  • [10:22] Perfectionists are often procrastinators

  • [14:44] Know your optimal times of day

  • [18:44] Are you letting self-talk bring you down?

  • [21:42] Timing matters

  • [25:33] Having a community can help

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify

How to Cope with Entrepreneur Depression and Mental Health Disorders #40

Entrepreneurship and mental health disorders can go hand-in-hand. The truth is that entrepreneurs have a tendency to believe that everyone else is doing just fine and that they are the only ones struggling. But that’s just not true. Mental health conditions affect so many entrepreneurs, their issues can range from ADHD, to anxiety, to depression. Entrepreneur depression can be exacerbated by the isolation that comes with entrepreneurship. If you or someone you know struggles with mental health issues listen to this episode to learn more about how to cope.

Half of entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health condition

Many entrepreneurs deal with depression and anxiety. These two conditions can be seen as two sides to the same coin. Anxiety impacts how you focus on the future and depression can have you focused too much on the past. Entrepreneur depression can be exacerbated by the seeming isolation of entrepreneurship. But the truth is that there are so many entrepreneurs dealing with depression and a range of other mental health issues. So if you think you are the only one, please know that you are not alone!

TWEET THIS: Half of #entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health conditions, so if you think you are the only one, please know that you are not alone!

Many entrepreneurs overcompensate for their weaknesses

After being told your whole life that you are lazy or that your issues are just in your head, many decide to prove to the world just how hard they can work. While having a strong work ethic is a wonderful trait, many with ADHD become workaholics and/or perfectionists to compensate for their perceived laziness. Maelisa ended up turning her weakness of being disorganized into a strength by learning organizational skills. She then took it a step further and created a business out of it. Have you found that you overcompensate for a weakness?

Acknowledge that you have a weakness then learn how to manage it

So you’re no superhero. This is not news. Having a weakness is okay! Take a page from the addiction handbook and first acknowledge that you have a problem. The next step is to figure out how to deal with it. What is it you really need? Do you need time management? A team to delegate tasks to? Do you need to see a therapist? Ask a friend for a recommendation. Should you be managing your condition with medication? Do whatever it is that you need to do to care for yourself. Listen to this episode to help you think about your conditions and discover the best solution that works for you.

If you give your business everything than you won’t have anything left for the rest of your life

Having clear boundaries between work and home life can be tricky for the entrepreneur that works from home, but it is an important step in creating a healthy work/life balance. It is easy to associate your business’s success or failure with your own worth. It's hard to manage passion and focus while separating yourself from your business’s success or failure. With high achieving personality then you feel like you must do it all. How do you make time for your hobbies, family, and relationships alongside your business? Listen to this episode to get ideas on how to maintain a healthy work/life balance.

In this episode...

  • [2:12] Half of entrepreneurs say that they have at least one mental health condition

  • [6:20] Many overcompensate for their weaknesses

  • [9:53] Admit that you have a problem and that you must care for it

  • [12:47] You have to have a safe network to share your vulnerability

  • [16:49] Money is our biggest metric to measure success

  • [19:36] If you give your business everything than you won’t have anything left for the rest of your life

  • [26:58] If you are genuinely struggling with mental health issues see a professional

Resources & People Mentioned

Connect With Maelisa and Amber

Subscribe to My Biz Bestie on iTunes, Stitcher, iHeart Radio, or Spotify